April 2009 Editorial

This morning we received a press release in our inbox from an organization called OGPF (Original Punk Federation) declaring that Punk rock is "Officially Dead" in a bold font.


The statement went on to state "As the one and ONLY authority on Punk rock we are giving the official word that Punk is dead." OGPF is an organization made up of people who were involved in the late 1970's and early 1980's Punk rock scene, including most notably a Circle Jerks roadie, the original drummer for the Knack, the former president of the Big Audio Dynamite fan club, and several extras from the classic films, Repo Man and Class of 1984.


OGPF executive, Slimey Ratz, who played bass for the seminal South Dakota based band, The Anarkisses, added in the press release that "for far too long we've seen young poseurs who have probably never even heard  of a band like the Anarkisses, playing a clean and watered down, bastardized version of Punk rock. To me Punk died a long time ago, around the same time the Anarkisses broke up in 1988."


Apparently OGPF had their first annual meeting last month in a penthouse suite in Las Vegas and their final decision to announce that punk was dead was decided by an anonymous vote.  Amongst other reasons they cited that the death of Punk rock was caused by the death of Sid Vicious, a lack of hot chicks attending shows, and the advent of hardcore.


Big Wheel would like to thank OGPF for finally putting this debate to a rest. It's a great relief to finally have a legitimate and established group claiming a position of authority over the Punk movement. We are now happy to move on with our lives and join a polo club.

 

-Ditch-
Asst. Editor